Bedrigbess is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, merciful bird.

Bedrigbess created time and space five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bedrigbess, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bedrigbess, he will turn you into a plant.

Bedrigbess' most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Bedrigbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Tapirs are not to be trusted.

4. Do not wear silver on your body.

5. Do not run in public.