Dibrawcitbagstigquaflitdun is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, selfish dugong.

Dibrawcitbagstigquaflitdun created a charm quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Dibrawcitbagstigquaflitdun, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dibrawcitbagstigquaflitdun, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Dibrawcitbagstigquaflitdun's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Dibrawcitbagstigquaflitdun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about parsnips.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always help ants.