Fadwanmeg is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, fussy clam.

Fadwanmeg created the world two million years ago.

If you believe in Fadwanmeg, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fadwanmeg, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fadwanmeg's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Fadwanmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never laugh near goats.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.