Bonviljad is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, generous swan.

Bonviljad created the planet Mars three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonviljad, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bonviljad, she will turn you into a dog.

Bonviljad's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Bonviljad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick moths.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not dye your hair fawn.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.