Jarncunceb Konpanbem is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, annoying beaver.

Jarncunceb Konpanbem created the Whirlpool Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Jarncunceb Konpanbem, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Jarncunceb Konpanbem, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Jarncunceb Konpanbem's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Jarncunceb Konpanbem's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Do not speak about cucumbers.

4. Never paint your feet blue.

5. Never pour water over plants.