Lakbonkquim is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, sage fly.

Lakbonkquim created the solar system two years ago.

If you believe in Lakbonkquim, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Lakbonkquim, it will turn you into a puffin.

Lakbonkquim's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Lakbonkquim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Lakbonkquim.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never talk about grasshopers.

5. Do not wear tin on your body.