Vinyikbam is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, idiotic coyote.

Vinyikbam created gold two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vinyikbam, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vinyikbam, it will laugh at you.

Vinyikbam's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Vinyikbam's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from red sheep, for they are unholy.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Vinyikbam loves gulls, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.