Armhabstik is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, vain armadillo.

Armhabstik created the planet Mars five million years ago.

If you believe in Armhabstik, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Armhabstik, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Armhabstik's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Armhabstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat gooseberries.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never wear indigo corsets.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.