Sidflap is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, selfish porpoise.

Sidflap created the planet Jupiter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sidflap, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sidflap, she will strike you with lightening.

Sidflap's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Sidflap's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of sheep.

2. Erect a large copper sculpture of Sidflap on top of all buildings.

3. You must never eat beans.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never look in ponds.