Xuckabhak is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unthinking warg.

Xuckabhak created parasitic wasps nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckabhak, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Xuckabhak, it will ignore you.

Xuckabhak's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Xuckabhak's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat strawberries.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.

3. Do not take Xuckabhak's name in vain.

4. Never jump near snakes.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Xuckabhak.