Witfitnutgesszogfab is a god.

He takes the form of a small, benevolent mole.

Witfitnutgesszogfab created the Tadpole Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Witfitnutgesszogfab, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Witfitnutgesszogfab, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Witfitnutgesszogfab's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Witfitnutgesszogfab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed strawberries to ants while wearing gray scarves.

2. Never eat oranges.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Witfitnutgesszogfab loves voles, so they must be honoured.

5. Always take life seriously.