Rakpigjam is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, egotistical crow.

Rakpigjam created oxygen four years ago.

If you believe in Rakpigjam, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Rakpigjam, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Rakpigjam's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Rakpigjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never skip in the presence of porpoises.

3. Run away if eight cats approach from the north.

4. Never eat carrots.

5. Pray towards the east.