Vanmumben is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, kind elephant.

Vanmumben created Europe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vanmumben, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Vanmumben, she will refuse to believe in you.

Vanmumben's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Vanmumben's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Vanmumben's name in vain.

2. Hide from fawn dolphins for they are unholy.

3. Run away if nine cats approach from the west.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always wear violet.