Naksawyarp is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, egotistical cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Naksawyarp created bats three million years ago.

If you believe in Naksawyarp, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Naksawyarp, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Naksawyarp's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Naksawyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.