Joncarren Bedfobgam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, boastful butterfly.

Joncarren Bedfobgam created water seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Joncarren Bedfobgam, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Joncarren Bedfobgam, he will turn you into a tree.

Joncarren Bedfobgam's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Joncarren Bedfobgam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not jump in public.

4. Never hurt seals.

5. Do not cook food in pots.