Lapsagvog is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, narcissistic gnu.

Lapsagvog created a strange quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lapsagvog, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lapsagvog, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Lapsagvog's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Lapsagvog's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Lapsagvog nine times a day.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lapsagvog.

5. Never bounce in holy places.