Bafhatziss is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, contented armadillo.

Bafhatziss created humanity three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bafhatziss, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bafhatziss, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bafhatziss' most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Bafhatziss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bafhatziss.