Mumkipjip is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, wise wombat.

Mumkipjip created a top quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Mumkipjip, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Mumkipjip, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Mumkipjip's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Mumkipjip's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from violet mites, for they are unholy.

2. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always wear turquoise.

5. Mumkipjip loves sharks, so they must be honoured.