Zemgarquaf is a god.

He takes the form of a large, egotistical mink.

Zemgarquaf created the Tadpole Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zemgarquaf, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zemgarquaf, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Zemgarquaf's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Zemgarquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six pigs approach from the east.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never skip near gulls.