Tigflapcat is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, unselfish mink.

Tigflapcat created the Andromeda Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigflapcat, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tigflapcat, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Tigflapcat's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Tigflapcat's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt otters.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Tigflapcat.

3. Tigflapcat loves whales, so they must be honoured.

4. You must pray to Tigflapcat seven times a day.

5. Tigflapcat loves doves, so they must be respected.