Japsandlarp is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, cheerful parrot.

Japsandlarp created the Milkyway seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Japsandlarp, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Japsandlarp, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Japsandlarp's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Japsandlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

3. Japsandlarp must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always make sure there are no turtles in a room before entering it.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.