Labzasssadtam is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, almighty toad.

Labzasssadtam created a Higgs boson four billion years ago.

If you believe in Labzasssadtam, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Labzasssadtam, it will refuse to believe in you.

Labzasssadtam's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Labzasssadtam's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat cats with great respect.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never write about amino acids.