Tofsadvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, omniscient duck.

Tofsadvonk created the universe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tofsadvonk, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tofsadvonk, she will turn you into a hamster.

Tofsadvonk's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Tofsadvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from brown eagles for they are unholy.

2. Never write about planets.

3. Always help sick shrews.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not shave your arms.