Parkrakyom is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, pitiless centipede.

Parkrakyom created carbon six million years ago.

If you believe in Parkrakyom, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Parkrakyom, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Parkrakyom's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Parkrakyom's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not speak about spinach.

4. Do not hurt tortoises.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.