Nuttnelsanddap Ganpinraw is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, compassionate grasshopper.

Nuttnelsanddap Ganpinraw created gold three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nuttnelsanddap Ganpinraw, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nuttnelsanddap Ganpinraw, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Nuttnelsanddap Ganpinraw's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Nuttnelsanddap Ganpinraw's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat aubergines.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Pray towards the south.