Bonfembass is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, all-knowing turtle.

Bonfembass created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Bonfembass, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bonfembass, she will turn you into a plant.

Bonfembass' most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Bonfembass' Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Run away from white dogs, for they are unholy.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.