Hothimhom is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, compassionate crow.

Hothimhom created dark energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hothimhom, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hothimhom, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Hothimhom's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Hothimhom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Always help dogs in need.

5. You must pray to Hothimhom six times a day.