Jarnappyatt is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, blissful donkey.

Jarnappyatt created a Higgs boson four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnappyatt, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jarnappyatt, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Jarnappyatt's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Jarnappyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt badgers.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. You must pray to Jarnappyatt four times a day.

4. Never sing in the presence of moths.

5. Do not cook food in pots.