Metmanfet is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, caring chicken.

Metmanfet created a down quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Metmanfet, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Metmanfet, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Metmanfet's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Metmanfet's Holy Commandments

1. Always help badgers.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Metmanfet.

5. Never talk about fire.