Flatsabgab is a god.

It takes the form of a large, contented porpoise.

Flatsabgab created Mount Everest two billion years ago.

If you believe in Flatsabgab, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Flatsabgab, it will turn you into a tree.

Flatsabgab's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Flatsabgab's Holy Commandments

1. Mice are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.