Podzinfat is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, humane ferret.

Podzinfat created a top quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Podzinfat, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Podzinfat, she will turn you into a rat.

Podzinfat's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Podzinfat's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear gray.

2. Podzinfat loves snakes, so they must be respected.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Do not eat bananas.