Quafcenquill is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, tranquil jackal.

Quafcenquill created gold five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafcenquill, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quafcenquill, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Quafcenquill's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Quafcenquill's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never hurt eagles.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.