Dudomtyog is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, egotistical faun.

Dudomtyog created dark energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Dudomtyog, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Dudomtyog, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Dudomtyog's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Dudomtyog's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Dudomtyog nine times a day.

2. Hide if three mites approach from the west.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Always help sick aardvarks.

5. Do not chop down trees.