Riplintipdad is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, witless turtle.

Riplintipdad created Mount Everest two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Riplintipdad, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Riplintipdad, it will not care.

Riplintipdad's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Riplintipdad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear titanium on your body.

2. Riplintipdad loves mites, so they must be honoured.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not take Riplintipdad's name in vain.

5. Do not sit in public.