Gofbotcim is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, awe-inspiring capybara.

Gofbotcim created a photon six million years ago.

If you believe in Gofbotcim, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gofbotcim, it will not care at all.

Gofbotcim's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Gofbotcim's Holy Commandments

1. Put Gofbotcim first in all things.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gofbotcim.

4. Always help ants in need.

5. You must never eat bread.