Garmonjon Queegfontag Xenloprut is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, dishonest pigeon.

Garmonjon Queegfontag Xenloprut created Asia two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Garmonjon Queegfontag Xenloprut, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Garmonjon Queegfontag Xenloprut, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Garmonjon Queegfontag Xenloprut's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Garmonjon Queegfontag Xenloprut's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about stars.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Retreat if six badgers approach from the north.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.