Dobtaphatwap Wongepdud Teenxucvad is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, generous tortoise.

Dobtaphatwap Wongepdud Teenxucvad created bats three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dobtaphatwap Wongepdud Teenxucvad, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Dobtaphatwap Wongepdud Teenxucvad, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dobtaphatwap Wongepdud Teenxucvad's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Dobtaphatwap Wongepdud Teenxucvad's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never wear white kilts.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.