Nigvenpan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, overgenerous shark.

Nigvenpan created the planet Jupiter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nigvenpan, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nigvenpan, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Nigvenpan's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Nigvenpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of voles.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not kill horses.

5. Never go into green rooms.