Barn is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, omniscient goose.

Barn created the Sun three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Barn, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Barn, it will turn you into a tree.

Barn's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Barn's Holy Commandments

1. Sharks are not to be trusted.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

3. You must never eat lentils.

4. Always look after injured foxes.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.