Dimgovxuc Nurtwodgad is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, contented pig.

Dimgovxuc Nurtwodgad created a bottom quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Dimgovxuc Nurtwodgad, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dimgovxuc Nurtwodgad, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Dimgovxuc Nurtwodgad's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Dimgovxuc Nurtwodgad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat parsnips.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dimgovxuc Nurtwodgad.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Dimgovxuc Nurtwodgad.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.