Hivhungofbass is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, witty hippopotamus.

Hivhungofbass created life five million years ago.

If you believe in Hivhungofbass, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Hivhungofbass, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Hivhungofbass' most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Hivhungofbass' Holy Commandments

1. Never write about amino acids.

2. Never mention gulls.

3. Always obey Hivhungofbass' priests.

4. Do not speak about wheat.

5. Do not drink water in white rooms.