Pogxuckveg is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, witless swan.

Pogxuckveg created snails two billion years ago.

If you believe in Pogxuckveg, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Pogxuckveg, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Pogxuckveg's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Pogxuckveg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

2. Pogxuckveg loves shrews, so they must be honoured.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not hurt doves.

5. Never paint your back orange.