Witjarnkem is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, humane hare.

Witjarnkem created the Sunflower Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Witjarnkem, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Witjarnkem, it will be very sad.

Witjarnkem's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Witjarnkem's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Witjarnkem.

2. Never eat garlic.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Always help sick hamsters.

5. Never play with disobedient children.