Linloopcan is a god.
She takes the form of a rotund, competent crocodile.
Linloopcan created the Large Magellanic Cloud two quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in Linloopcan, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.
If you do not believe in Linloopcan, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.
Linloopcan's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.
Linloopcan's Holy Commandments
1. Never think about gravity.
2. Linloopcan must be the most important thing in your life.
3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Linloopcan.
4. Always help sheep in need.
5. Retreat if nine aardvarks approach from the west.