Kapwodyikwod is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, stupid centaur.

Kapwodyikwod created humankind two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kapwodyikwod, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kapwodyikwod, she will be very unhappy.

Kapwodyikwod's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Kapwodyikwod's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Snakes are not to be trusted.

3. Do not wear silicon on your body.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not stand on grass.