Fomsanpang is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, caring dragon.

Fomsanpang created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fomsanpang, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fomsanpang, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Fomsanpang's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Fomsanpang's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never write about stars.

5. Never sing in the presence of aardvarks.