Japcissveennell is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, benevolent wombat.

Japcissveennell created the Sol system three million years ago.

If you believe in Japcissveennell, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Japcissveennell, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Japcissveennell's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Japcissveennell's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat limes.

2. Retreat if nine shrews approach from the east.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Never sing in the presence of ants.

5. Never talk about fire.