Zanlagstig is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, capable raven.

Zanlagstig created the planet Earth five billion years ago.

If you believe in Zanlagstig, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Zanlagstig, he will turn you into a mouse.

Zanlagstig's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Zanlagstig's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from magenta birds for they are unholy.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

3. Never wear yellow ear rings.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always help sick geese.