Pagomtomt is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, charitable bird.

Pagomtomt created the planet Saturn six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pagomtomt, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pagomtomt, it will not care.

Pagomtomt's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Pagomtomt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear green clothing.

2. Pagomtomt must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Hide if five sharks approach from the south.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. You must love Pagomtomt.