Bidsintab Mapfasappnur Gunniggom is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, overgenerous hamster.

Bidsintab Mapfasappnur Gunniggom created Africa three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bidsintab Mapfasappnur Gunniggom, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bidsintab Mapfasappnur Gunniggom, he will curse you with boils.

Bidsintab Mapfasappnur Gunniggom's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Bidsintab Mapfasappnur Gunniggom's Holy Commandments

1. Bidsintab Mapfasappnur Gunniggom loves geese, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not chop down trees.